I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
