No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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