well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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