dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
