they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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