like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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