Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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