I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
