you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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