matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
