i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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