margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
