Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
