we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
