Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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