Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
ok first of all what the fuck
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
