i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
