Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
