Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
