his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
