When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
