plz talk dirty to me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
