hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize