somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
