Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
