This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
