ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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