**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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