It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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