i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
