I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
