we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
