i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
