why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
only if we run a train.
done.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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