butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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