yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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