The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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