I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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