Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
