I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
