I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
