Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
