nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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