Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
