woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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