I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
