Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
God I need to hump something, right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
