Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
