My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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