I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
