just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
