Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
