Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
