Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
