she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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