Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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