my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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