I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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