you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
