It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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