I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
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