I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
