Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So much Jack, so little girl.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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