arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
