Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
