I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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