There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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