I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
