Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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